How the Sausage is Made- a digest of satirical science for business ladies
Episode 1: Why dudes sometimes do dumb stuff on planes and on business trips (this post is for all our tech ladies networking like a boss at CES 2018!)
I’m on the road, again. This time a giant tech expo on the West Coast. The expo show happy hour. It’s billed in the event booklet as a “sponsored networking opportunity,” but for women it’s often a sponsored opportunity to be overrun, objectified, invisible or even unsafe. Why?
I’m glad you asked.
Most people don’t know this (but I do, because I have a PhD in event networking and business travel), but when men travel by air, often on business trips, a hormone called phemerin is released in their brains due to the plane’s altitude and velocity. (if you Google this, you will be disappointed)
This tiny little hormone plays a significant role in the common man’s vacation from integrity.
Turbulence during descent and landing activate the primal fight or flight response, resulting in elevated levels of adrenaline and cortisol. YIKES, as we say in the sciences!
After landing, the subsequent catalysts are typically behavioral. Perhaps he texts his wife or significant other to let her know he’s landed safely.
This simple act reminds him that he’s away from home, and can trigger a pleasure response in the brain.
These stimuli elevate levels of testosterone and generate natural endorphins. By the time he arrives at the expo show happy hour, all of these hormones have mixed together in the pre-frontal cortex (or the feelings cauldron) of the brain causing him to be physiologically less capable of empathizing, identifying when his words or actions are inappropriate, or recognizing when you’re letting him down gently (or not so gently).
This is called endophemeral dumbassery.
The condition alone renders some men helpless against the social pressure to be funny, to fit in and to sell. Add alcohol to the equation? It’s like adding the dollop of baking soda to your science fair volcano… everything lying dormant below the surface cannot help but erupt. It’s not sexist! It’s science.
So there you have it. The next time you witness wildly inappropriate behavior at the ACME Batteries Networking Happy Hour, just remember:
it’s not his fault, he’s just hormonal!
Journey On, Janes.
Footnote: hey, we enjoy trying to figure stuff like this out, even if we have to make stuff up to make any sense of it. Got ideas? Email us at email@example.com